Your second year of life was a REAL firework! Ha. I realize that my posting on this blog slowed waaaaay down in your 2nd year. I thought I was just really busy. The truth is, I was. We had a lot going on and you were so interactive and curious, we were always on the go. All that aside, I think I also posted less because, it was our most challenging year yet. Right around the time you turned 1, you learned the word no and said it…quite a bit. Haha. However, that was just part of the communication process and finding your “voice”. Shaking your head no incessantly came just before that. You were just improving on an already exceptional level of communication, but it was the first whisper of opposition! Looking back…that was NOTHING!

Just around the time you turned 2…the battle began. You were potty trained in the 5 weeks following your 2nd birthday and at the same time your pop, papo and tata all went out of town for 6 weeks and 3 weeks respectively. It was a really trying time for you. I mean us. I mean ME! I know it sounds funny, but thought you were just  going to skip this phase! Then I convinced myself it was probably just that you were potty training and then that you were missing your grandparents and then that you were missing your pop (who is gone most of every summer on tour) and I then I just realized it was not going away!

I tried reward systems, considered time outs, read books, made commitments, talked to friends, took parenting webinars, got much stricter, tried breathing exercises, went to a Therapist, tried everything I could think of…and your resolve remained! It makes me laugh now. I am writing this after the fact, but this phase lasted for about 1 year and 2 months!

Everything you heard, read or saw… you internalized to some extent. So, some of that plays a part in this. I didn’t realize that until I paid very close attention to the way you formed some of your sentences or observed the interaction between your dolls during free play. I began to see characters from movies and even books in your dialogue. I let you watch “Brave” about 7 or so times and that was, in part, a story about an oppositional relationship between mother and daughter! What was I thinking? I was thinking that it was displaying a young woman with a mind of her own. I thought it was harmless… never seriously considering that you were too young to decipher what was acceptable, at your age, and what was not. A book series about a little girl’s overactive imagination and love of everything pink, Pinkalicious, showcases her bratty personality throughout and ends every story with a lesson learned and a pledge to do better. However, not until I saw you stomping your foot at me (like the character in the book does) did I realize that you may not be picking up on the big picture in those quick endings! Once I read the signs, I banned the movie and the book series (except for one). I told you why I made that decision and you seemed to understand, but you didn’t like it one bit! Ha! In addition, the cycle of poor choices, unacceptable behavior, anger, discipline, and discord between you and I led to discontent and almost seemed to fuel the cycle. We got ahold of that eventually and learned how to identify our feelings. That last bit is still an ongoing discussion, but it’s the cutest thing to see how your little mind assigns and simplifies feelings. It should all be so easy!

I will say, in your defense, that you never threw a “tantrum”. You never threw yourself on the ground kicking and screaming or anything like that. You did raise your voice and on occasion you yelled, you did become defiant and demanding, you revisited your hateful relationship with the car seat. That last part was probably the hardest part for me. As a baby, the car seat NEVER soothed you like it was “supposed” to and at one point it even made you cry. That didn’t last too long and eventually subsided, but it came back about mid way through your 2nd year with a vengeance and it didn’t leave until October 2013! Every time we got in the car…I’m talking even to run errands, quick in and outs, everything…you gave me hell. I even negotiated at times… as much as I tried not to. We even decided to switch cars with pop this year, permanently. We were driving a Lexus sedan and had to switch to the Tahoe Hybrid for the interior space. Something about being confined really rubs you the wrong way (even having to wear pants!) There was no recourse. Even after upgrading to a new car seat (more on that later). I remember I even had to physically hold you down and strap you in…twice. That was hard on both of us. One of those times took place when we had to drive the Lexus with your papo, tata, and nino in tow.- Worst timing ever.

When your maternal great grandmother passed away around this time, we had to fly to AZ at 6am and spend the whole day in the hot desert sun and fly home that same evening. It was a sad day and literally the worst day to date in my parenting world. You cried uncontrollably during the ceremony. Screamed at the top of your lungs and struggled to get away from me. I had to walk away from the ceremony until it ended because you cried throughout. We never see that side of your family and that was their only experience of you. I haven’t quite figured out how people, especially family, are bold enough to be so judgemental. Whether it’s about my parenting or your behavior. It confuses me. Ultimately, I reconciled that people’s judgements and opinions about either is their problem and not ours. In that moment, I couldn’t see that you were just a baby, out of your element, over tired and in an uncomfortable situation. It was a moment in time. You were 2. Experiencing a stage of development.

I was still nursing you and started to wean you around January 2013 and stopped nursing you altogether in March 2013. You stopped napping in about January because I had always nursed you to sleep. I didn’t realize then what a problem it might cause with your napping when I stopped. You continued sleeping well at night, but still got tired and cranky around the 2 times of day that you would normally be napping. That did NOT help the situation. I should have altered our days to minimize your exertion or discomfort at those times, but I didn’t usually do that. So many woulda shouldas. The truth is, life happens.

I enrolled you in dance class and gym class and zoo class in this, your 2nd year. You loved some experiences more than others, but one thing was clear. You would dance to the beat of your own drum. You are so active, you love to laugh, you have more fun and learn more with less structure, you have the best imagination. Your pretend play kicked up by a hundred fold this year. We pretended every day, sometimes all day. Your love of princesses was in full swing this year. You balance that with an equal love for being a doctor. You love hanging off things like a monkey. You love to learn. It’s a passion for you. I try to make sure I connect all the dots and you seem to thrive. Practical application breeds real skill for you. You are funny. So funny. You started liking jokes at the end of your second year. You like to build things. Put them together and pull them apart. You love to sing. You stand on a “stage” and belt it out. You follow along with songs now. You love your little cousin, Sas. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but you love him like he’s yours. You still eat like a man! You eat more than me at breakfast every day. You watch PBS everyday. Your pop lets you watch Disney sometimes, but aside for about 6 months, we have really always been a PBS household. We went on a plane twice in this year, but no real vacations. I’ve been hoping to change that. You’ve only been to Catalina, Vegas twice, and “camping” in a cabin at a nearby Lake. You love to explore, but I wouldn’t say that in this 2nd year, you loved to travel. That would include peace in the car seat!!

I realize I’m blurring into your third year with this next entry, but it’s relevant to the journey of the “Terrific Twos”…

You still disliked your car seat… the last frontier. At some point in my search for the car seat solution and your quest for a solid reason why you needed to use it, I told you that the police would give me a ticket if you didn’t sit in it. We drove passed a Police station one day and I told you about it. You were very clear that we were NOT to go near there. Haha! Then it hit me. You love Gabriel. Gabriel is a police officer! So, in October 2013 I had the brilliant idea to have Gabriel talk to you about sitting in the car seat!! It was like magic. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before. I had even bought you a brand new, airplane seat sized, roomy, plush big kid car seat and that didn’t work nearly as well as Gabriel’s magic touch! You haven’t bothered with it since. God is good.

Your behavior improved at times and then reverted. Without much reason. Eventually around early September 2013, your behavior improved and the fog lifted! Growing up will always include some hiccups to be sure, but the intensity changed. You seemed to have better control of yourself. I’m sure it wasn’t the repetitive talks I had with you about choices and breathing and the like. I am sure it was just nature. Development. Everything was as it should be.

In August of 2013, you and I began the search for a pre-school. I had taken a pre-school tour before then, but I hadn’t fully committed to the cause!! We saw 8 or 9 in total and I had a laundry list of questions about their philosophies, education models, critical thinking, etc. I wondered how hard it would be to choose a high school if Preschool was this big of a hunt! I didn’t quite find the one school that had it ALL. Then I decided that I would select the one that had MOST of what I wanted and trusted that it would all work out the way it should. You are a smart, strong and independent girl. It should’ve been a no brainer for mom, but alas…sometimes the questions are hard and the answers are simple. Just before Halloween, we enrolled you into pre-school at Chatsworth Hills Academy and I feel like the structure really supported the direction you were heading in.

Your personality is infectious. I know I’ve written a lot about how difficult your behavior and my struggle to deal with it was this year, but in truth, this year brought us closer together. We know each other better. We both learned more about emotions. We both love being around each other, but even more, people…everywhere…are drawn to you. You have a bright spirit. You’re a girl who knows what she likes and what she doesn’t like- That’s exactly what I want for you. We began reciting daily affirmations this year and you grew to love them.

You’ve matured so much. All the work we’ve done before now really helped get you on track even though you enrolled into school about 7 weeks late. It’s like you never skipped a beat. You never cried when I left you. You approached your peers readily and all of your academic skills were on solid ground.

Your 2nd year of life was a journey. You hit some major road bumps and crossed major milestones. You taught me a lot about myself. You solidified your transition from a baby to a toddler for me (technically that happened last year). You got a better grasp of your power, your voice, your emotions, your world, your body. I am proud of you always. You are my heart and Xol.