I wrote my daughter the story of my pregnancy so that when she got older and out of line I could tell her….See what I went through for you?!! Kidding! Haha. I wrote it so she would have some insight into the pregnancy, her mother as a person, and our life at the time she was created. Here it is…enjoy 🙂

 

Baby, I am 3 months pregnant with you.  It is December 11, 2009. The last 1.5 months have been very difficult. I’ve been vomiting and nauseous on a daily basis. To begin with I had a home nurse, was placed on IV and an anti-nausea medication pump. I know it’s gross, but I have hyper-salivation so I am constantly having to spit! After some time, I felt a reactive depression to the treatment so I asked that it be removed. I started taking the medication in pill form. After some time of that, I decided to go without medication all together. I’ve always kinda been anti-medicine, so I guess that’s why I decided to do that. I started taking a natural medicine to help with nausea. So far, that has helped…a lil. Everyday is different and some days I am ok, others…not so much. I am hopeful this will end soon, but if it doesn’t, we’re in this together! My Doctor put me on disability so I’ve been out of work since October!  I’ve been in bed almost every day and I stay in my pajamas most days. I’m not much to look at. Some days I am sad and some days I feel like joking. It just depends on what’s on my mind that day, I suppose.

I’ve been staying at your Abuelito’s house since the night after Halloween. Your Tia and Midnight live here too. Your abuelitos Gil de Montes, Eli, and Midnight have all had a hand in taking care of us.  I wake up around 7 am every day. I go to sleep about 10:30ish every night. They make all of our meals. I eat small meals every 2 hours or so. I can only eat bland foods and not too much at a time, so it’s boring really. I never know what I want to eat and I rarely have cravings. Everything grosses me out. Even smells. I guess I’ve always been “weird” about food like that though, so the pregnancy is just highlighting my strangeness in that area.  We’ll get through it. I have to start taking prenatal vitamins again in the 2^nd trimester, so I hope I’m eating enough to keep them down.  We shall see…

 

Staying at your Abuelito’s house means I haven’t been staying with your dad. That part has been hard on both of us. Your dad is really busy. He’s working on getting an online tv/radio station going and his group just got signed to a new label. Their next album comes out in about 4 months. Your dad is a hard-working man and his business means a lot to him. That is good and bad for us. It means he loves what he does, but it also means he works a lot. He says he does it for us…his family. Your grandma Mayra, aunt Michelle, and your 4 cousins used to live in our house. They haven’t lived there since Jan. 2009, but we rent them a house just down the street. So, since we pay for everything, it makes your dad work that much harder. I know that must worry you, but we’re working on it. Being away from dad creates a whole set of issues for me. I tried to go home for a couple days, but it didn’t go well. I got sicker because dad wasn’t really able to take care of me. So, that pretty much put the idea of me going home to rest, mostly for your sake. I couldn’t take the chance of you being affected by my health. So, I’m still away from dad today. He visits a few times a week, but it’s not the same.

I found out I was pregnant with you on October 17^th, 2009. It was a Saturday afternoon. I took 2 at home pregnancy tests that day and another one the following day! I called your Abuelita Elida and your Tia Eli. They found out when I found out. They screamed on the phone for what seemed like an hour! I didn’t tell your dad until that Monday and I didn’t even want to tell him then. He was having one of his big concerts the following weekend (The Smokeout) and he was really stressed. So, I decided I would tell him after that. However, life doesn’t always work out like we plan. We had a fumigator scheduled to come that day and I totally forgot about it! So, since I couldn’t be around the fumes, I had to ask your dad to stay while they fumigated and he said no! Grrr. Like I said, he was stressed and busy with interviews, photo shoots, etc. So, he was getting upset that I would even suggest he stay home. He started to walk away from me and I had to get in front of him and put my hands on his shoulders. I looked him in the eye and said, “I didn’t want to have to tell you this yet, but I took a few pregnancy tests this weekend and….I’m pregnant”.  He let out a nervous giggle and kept walking up the stairs. I ran to get in front of him again and I said, “Are you ok”? He put his head on my shoulder and told me he was happy, but stressed. So, I let him go and told him we would talk about it after his concert. He agreed.

 

When we got married in August 2008, we agreed that we would wait 1 year before we started trying to get pregnant. It turns out we got pregnant about 13 months later! All I had to do was get off the birth control pill (I was on it for 10 years before that). I was off of it 5 months before I got pregnant and dad was on tour for over 1 month during that time. We didn’t exactly plan you but, I was secretly hoping for you. Although your dad is suspicious that I was clocking my ovulation…I wasn’t!! So….here you are in my belly. Meant to be and sent from God. I love you. Talk more later my baby…

 

Ok…so much has changed! My health is much better now and I live with dad again. I moved back on January 8, 2010! I started taking my prenatal vitamins again in January as well. That was stressing me way out, not being able to take them for a couple of months. I want you to be as healthy as you can be. I took prenatal vitamins for 1 year before I got pregnant with you because I wanted to do all I could if you were meant to be for me. I also gained 15 lbs in preparation for a pregnancy. I wasn’t taking the vitamins for about 2 months and that was stressful. We’re all good now though mama.

Around the end of January (4.5 months in) I felt you move in my belly!!! It took about 1 week before I knew that’s what it was!! I actually thought the feeling was gas. I know…not so cute, but it’s true! Ever since then your movements continued, but I didn’t start clocking your pattern of wake and sleep until about the end of the 6^th month. Then on February 17^th, your dad was able to feel you move! We were sitting on the couch downstairs and I put his hand on my belly. He felt it! It was exciting. Ever since then he started touching my belly and talking to you. He calls you the princess and his pretty baby in the belly. You usually move when you feel his hand or when you hear him talking to you, but not all the time. Either way, it’s pretty amazing. I think you’re gonna be a daddy’s girl, but I hope you’ll love me to pieces anyway.

 

We decided we wanted to know if you were a girl or boy and we found out on February 3^rd! Abuelita Elida and tia Eli were there for that one because your dad was filming a video. When I called and told your dad he said, “I knew it!”. He did tell me really early on that he dreamt about you. You were at the beach together and he said you had long hair and looked just like me. Truthfully, I was a little scared to have a girl because I flashed forward about 15 years when you would be in high school. I hope you behave like a good girl forever and ever and ever!!! Then later we had a 4d ultrasound that confirmed you were a GIRL on February 15^th. Your dad, abuelitos (Gil de Montes), tio Rick, and tia Eli were all there. You put your hands in front of your face a few times, but for the most part we saw you pretty well. Technology is so crazy that way. I’ll show you the pictures and we have a dvd too! You seem to like keeping one of your hands in a fist which I feel is a sign of righteous rebellion and you spent a lot of time hugged up on the placenta. You must take after me. You know where the food’s coming from and you need to stay near! Everyone thought your face was shaped like mine and you have dad’s lips. I couldn’t really tell, but I secretly hope you look like BOTH of us! I’ve watched the DVD at least 10 times. So far, you look a lot like your dad.

I’ve taken pictures of myself at every month since my 3^rd. I’m getting big now…7 months! You can see all the pictures. I think I look like a penguin! People can’t seem to agree. Most people think I am small for my pregnancy and others think I am carrying twins!! Everyone has agreed so far that I am all belly. I always have to point out that I have a big booty too. I like a big booty! I’ve been using an oil to try and keep the stretch marks away. So far so good baby!

I returned to work in mid-January and am planning to work until about 1 week before your due date. My job as a Supervising Social Worker is pretty stressful, so I have been trying to keep that to a minimum while you are in my belly. Unfortunately, that means I have been missing some days and going in late sometimes. A lot of times I sing this song in the morning… “I don’t wanna work! I just wanna bang on the drum all day! Yeah…” Your dad gets irked and calls me lazy, but I don’t care. This is probably the last time I will get to take it easy. I imagine you’re going to require lots of time and energy and…. I will be ready!!

 

I haven’t been exercising like I should, but I have done some prenatal yoga, some walking and I take the stairs at work. I can’t wait til it gets hot so I can swim in our pool!! I can’t wait til you get here so we can swim together. I imagine you’ll be a little mermaid. I can’t wait to meet you. I’m starting to get anxious right about now!!

 

A little about the world you are being born into at the moment: In January the President completed his first year in office and his name is Barack Obama. He is the first African American President in the history of the United States. I voted for him. Although dad doesn’t usually vote, he voted for him too. Obama has great ideals, but he inherited the office from one of the worst Presidents ever…George W. Bush. So, as a result our nation is in the worst economical state since the Great Depression and we are still at war in the middle east. War is never a good solution…in my opinion. The housing market is in the dumps and the American dollar is not worth much around the world, at the moment. However, things are getting better slowly but surely. Anyway, just this week (March 2010), the Congress passed a historic bill to extend Health Care to the masses. National Health Care was a foreign concept until now. It was a really hard fought battle, but it was signed in to law. The decision has split so many people. A lot of them (mostly conservatives) believe it is socialism, but even though it sisn’t perfect, I think it’s a step in the right direction. Since I work in Social Services, I see how lack of access to health insurance affects the poor families in our communities. Your dad and I are fortunate enough that we don’t need to worry about it because we have health insurance, but it’s a blessing for the unfortunate people that can’t afford it. Also, in the last couple of months, there have been devastating earthquakes in Haiti and Chile. We live in Northridge where there was a big earthquake more than 10 years ago, but no recent movement. Don’t worry. California is known for earthquakes, but I’m 34 and I only remember being in 2 big earthquakes and nothing (thank God) has ever happened to our family.

 

I’m working hard to get the house ready for your arrival. Ok, so when 7 months hit I went a little insane. I decided I needed to have the wood floors refinished, have the entire outside of the house repainted, have the entire ventilation system cleaned, the carpets cleaned, buy a new dishwasher and patio set. I also went downtown with your abuelitas Victoria and Elida to buy material for your room curtains. Actually your abuelitos Gil de Montes have been helping me execute pretty much everything. You’ll learn that they help with everything they can. Our family is really close and we can’t wait for you to join us. I can just cry thinking of it!!

 

I wonder if you’ll remember the voice I use when I call you my little baby in the belly or how I sing you Mellow Mood by Bob Marley?? You’ll have to let me know. I’m convinced you’re going to be a genius!! More later my sweet angel…

 

Also at around 7 months I replaced my lost copy of Oh the Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss. I started reading it to you. I planned on reading it to you every day, but so far I have been averaging 3 times a week. I’m hoping you’ll remember the rhythm of it and calm when I read it to you. You kick around when I read it, so I’m convinced you like it. There are 2 places in the book that it makes reference to a boy, but I say girl so it’s more customized for you! I also got the Rockabye Baby Cds from the Beatles, Bob Marley, and Led Zeppelin for you.  We’ve been listening to Bob because he’s my all time favorite, but we’ll get to the others because I love them too! There’s lots more I want to buy. We’ve been listening a lot to your dad’s music too in the last few months for a couple of reasons. First, his group Cypress Hill is coming out with a new album on 4/20/10 called Rise Up. Second, he’s been out of town a lot and I don’t want you to forget his voice. The lyrics may not be the best for you, but there are methods to my madness (you don’t understand them right now anyway).

 

Oh and right now (7 months and 3 weeks) I look really big. Even I think I am a bit of a fatty right now. I think that maybe I was fooled all these months. I have been wearing a small in maternity clothes throughout the pregnancy. I even wore my regular jeans (with a hair tie around the button) until my 5th month. Thinking I was so small, I decided to make up for it!! Ugh. I’ve gained almost 30 lbs by now ( that doesn’t include the 15 lbs I gained in preparation for pregnancy)! If I get back to at least 125 lbs after you arrive, I’ll be happy. Dad says I can get a personal trainer! To be honest, I’m not that worried about it, but I thought I’d mention it because everyone has been making comments about my size lately.

 

Oh and the other day I was lying down and you scared me! You kicked your leg straight up and it poked way out of my stomach. I felt like you were trying to get out. These days since we are both growing so much, I feel your movements more vividly and frequently. I love it. I smile a lot when I look down and see my stomach moving. I pray for you at least 3 times a day. I used to ask for certain features on you like brown skin, thick eyebrows, long eyelashes, my nose/eyes, your dad’s lips, tall, skinny, etc., but after about the 3rd month I decided to only pray for your health (Which I did all along). The truth is you will be beautiful no matter what, but there are so many health concerns to consider these days. I just want you to be healthy and in God’s name, you will be. Fill you in on more later bambina …

 

Ok, so I’m 8 months today and your baby shower is this weekend!! So exciting for you. I personally get a little embarrassed by the attention, but we need the baby stuff. I don’t know the first thing about what I need!! Well, I suppose that’s a lie. I know a thing or two, but you get my drift. Listen, I thought I should tell you about the name game!!

My first choice was Justicia or Justice (English) and your dad HATED it. So, that was a no go. I just think it’s so powerful and unique. My requirements for a name are that it sounds good pronounced in both English and Spanish and that it has a powerful meaning. So, as it turns out, I picked lots of hippie names and your dad wasn’t having it. Let me tell you how it really is though… your dad did not come up with ONE suggestion. All he did was nix every idea I had!! So, there were plenty of suggestions, but the only real contenders were…Xol, Victoria, and Lina. Even at 8 months pregnant, I don’t know what your name will be.  Xol- We are people of the Sun and the Sun rules my astrological sign…the Leo. The spelling is usually Sol, but the Aztecs often interchanged X for the S sound. Abuelita Elida suggested the X spelling and I was ALL over it. It’s unique and rebellious. So, maybe for a nickname people can call you Sunny or X. We’ll see how I feel about that when you’re here! Also, even if people can’t pronounce it in English, it will still sound cool. Soul!! Like James Brown. You’re super bad!! Victoria- Your Maternal Great Grandmother’s name (Abuelito Eduardo’s mom). She is an amazing woman. She is young at heart with great passion for love, family and life. She is the matriarch of our family and holds us all together. She is strong and independent. I can’t tell you enough great things about her. She is wise and insightful beyond description. She is beautiful! Great skin, never a hair out of place, always with a full face of make up, and has aged better than anyone I know! She is also pretty quirky. She loves material things, loves to gossip, and is an impeccable dresser. Such a vibrant spirit! Always good for a laugh. Lina- Your Maternal Great Great Grandmother’s name (Abuelita Elida’s grandmother). Another strong, independent woman. She played a big part in raising my mother. She was modest and sweet (passed away in 1991). She had a powerful history and dedicated her later years to helping raise my mother and her siblings. She always gave me a dollar when she saw me. I will always remember the kind eyes she had and the sweetest smile I ever saw.  A hard working woman with the kind of strength and vulnerability that makes for a beautifully balanced being. So my love…we shall see. We may wait to see you before we pick the name, but as you can tell, any of these choices carry great weight in meaning. I adore you and cannot wait to meet you my little baby in the belly.

 

Ok, so I am 8.5 months (34 weeks) now. I usually say how far along I am in months, not weeks. Most people use weeks, but I like months so I save them the trouble of doing the math! So, what to say what to say? The house is almost ready for you. It’s been painted and sanitized (Carpets/Vents). The new carpet in your room was just installed and all your furniture has been ordered. I ordered the carpet made with a new technology, sustainable and made from corn kernels! I know it sounds weird, but with all the global warming and environmental issues going on, it was a responsible thing to do. Haha! I’m also looking into doing a cloth diaper service for you. Most people say it’s a hassle and to be honest it is a little antiquated, but it’s also the responsible thing to do. We’ll see if I’m up to the challenge.  If I’m not completely losing it as a first-time mother, I will do it. Oohh, I only have about 2.5 weeks left at work! Your dad gave me the ok to leave work a few weeks early. He’s such a work-a-holic, he pretty much has no mercy and wants me to work unless I absolutely can’t. So, you can imagine how surprised I was when he said I could take a break!! I plan on using that time to do stuff like interview Pediatricians for you, build your furniture, put last touches on your room (Abuelita Elida is making your curtains), wash all your clothes (that I already hung and separated by age) in Dreft, swim daily (good for an easy delivery), watch the Lakers in the finals (we’re BIG fans), and maybe take a few days to go out of town and relax. Dad will be on tour already, so I’ll be alone.

We had your baby shower at our house on 5/2/10 and we made out with lots of clothes, a few toys, high chair, boppies, and the travel system (stroller/car seat). My mom and sister put it together ‘with a little help from my friends’ (singing a Beatles song in my head). They are having another one for us at my work in about a week or so. I don’t like the attention on me for very long and I’m really private, so I resisted a bit, but I gave in because I know we still need lots of stuff. Hopefully this way I won’t need to buy too much more. I’m hitting the max on my budget (an amount I will spare you because it took a long time for me to save), but there is no better reason to spend it than….on you!! More later ma…

We had the work baby shower last week and 55 people came! We got lots of loot. People are really excited to meet you baby. I’m still working. My last day is June 4^th! So, I’m 9 months pregnant now. I’m a little annoyed no one told me I would be pregnant for 10 months, but eh. Whaduyya gonna do? I can’t wait to meet you. I just imagine you everyday. You have your own little personality and ways. I just love you.

Oooh and I took maternity pictures at 8.5 months so I’m good and chubby. Your dad calls me chunky butt these days. He means it in the nicest way I’m sure. So, the pics were taken at our house and at the beach in the most freezing freakish spring weather. I just saw them and they look aiiight. I’m my worst critic though so you may have to decide for yourself little one.

Your dad and I went to my Dr appt yesterday (5/25/10) and saw you in an ultrasound. You were face down and in great position for delivery, but we couldn’t see your face. We saw your spine, feet, heart, knee, and butt! She made sure the umbilical cord was not around your neck or body…check. All 4 chambers of your heart were beating…check. Also she made sure the placenta was in the right place (so we can avoid “Placenta Previa”)…check. You weigh 6.5 lbs right now and they predict you may end up between 7.5-8.5 lbs at birth! You’re a big girl! Oohhh and she says you have measurably long legs! I hope you will be tall! I also asked her to make sure you were a girl…again…check! You were practicing breathing when we saw you this time. Your little lungs are getting ready!! I told her you’ve been hiccupping quite a bit in the last few weeks. It’s normal. I also told her I will be taking home the after birth to have someone prepare Placenta pills. She told me I was cannibalistic. Whatever. She just doesn’t get me. However, I did clear the use of iChat or Skype at the time of delivery with her and the PR Dept at Huntington Memorial Hospital in Pasadena. That means if your papi is still in Europe when I go into labor, he can at least be present in some way to witness it. I think of everything! Oh, speaking of that, it’s your dad’s 40^th birthday next week on Jun 2^nd, but he’ll be in Europe so I planned his party for this Friday. There is a super cool new high-end movie theater with gourmet food and plush seats I set it up at. Rented out a whole theater!! It’s gonna be cool!! I’ll show you pics. He doesn’t like a fuss anymore, but he deserves it. He’s a good man. We’re all lucky to have each other.

As for leisure, I never actually made it out of town to relax. No one will let me. They’re all worried about me! My family went out to visit my Abuelita Ramona in AZ (haven’t seen her in about 7 years) and I didn’t make it to that since I’m so far along. Not to mention that racist law they just passed over there! SB1070! Bleh. Basically makes it a crime to be brown there and allows racial profiling of our people…Mexicans. Brown is the new black. I’m the darkest one in our family next to abuelito Eduardo and I’m pregnant, so I woulda went down for sure!! Hahhaa. You’ll be happy to know your dad’s band took a stand and boycotted AZ by canceling a scheduled performance there. Yours truly (MAMA) wrote the press release! Power to the people baby. More later mamita…

Ok, so your papa left on his European tour this past weekend. I go to the Doctor again today. I predict you are coming early. Maybe wishful thinking, but I feel like I can breathe a lil better, feeling more pressure down low, and you look lower in my belly. I had abui, Sal, your Abuelitos, Tio Rick, his family, Nesta and her boyfriend over for memorial day. We went swimming and bbq’d. Well, without the BBQ. I had that torn out. It didn’t work and it was gross. However, with all the things I had to pay to get ready for you, that fell off my radar. Oh, on that note, dad and I went to go get your swing, bouncy chair, activity mat, and my breast pump a few days ago. So many gadgets we need to get you going!! As for the BBQ, everything in time. Anyway, we grilled burgers. There are a few pics of me in my bathing suit. I’m sure you will see and laugh at. I look like an Emperor Penguin! Almost done with work. Going back today after a long weekend. Not looking forward to it :/ Ok babe, just a quick update this time. 3 weeks to go!! Packing our hospital bag this week. I love you…

Hi mama. I’m writing to you just 6 days before your due date. There are so many things running through my mind. I am currently experiencing a little pain/discomfort. I don’t know if this is the beginning of labor or not. My next Dr. visit is tomorrow. You’ve been really low for the last 2 weeks and I’ve been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions every day for just as long. Your abuelita Elida has been staying with me too. She won’t let me be alone. I keep remembering little things I may not have told you. Like, early on in the pregnancy, you were on a lucky streak! Every time there was a football game, I would predict the winner accurately and every time I scratched a Lotto ticket (your abuelito Eduardo’s fav), I would win something! It was all you. I’ve never been particularly lucky (or unlucky for that matter). Neither your father nor I are big gamblers. I dabbled when I first turned 21, but I quickly got over it! It made me wonder if a Chinese astrology prediction for people born in 2010 could have some truth to it. It said that these people would be very financially successful and then later lose it. You’ll learn pretty quickly that I am conservative with money and I worry most about future stability, so don’t be surprised if I step in and insist you save a big percentage of your money when you get older!! By the way, there are so many pregnant women right now! My personal theory is that it has everything to do with the economy. The baby boom (your abuelito’s generation) was a direct result of the war/depression and I think this spike is due to the current recession. That’s just me!

 

My hospital bags are packed, your room is ready, and I can’t wait to meet you. I have a massage scheduled today! Everyone’s asking about you. I think you’ll be here by the end of the week, but your dad thinks you’re waiting for him to get home first. He’ll be back on your due date! I haven’t been worried or nervous about the delivery, but I am starting to wonder how well I will handle it. To be honest, I have complete faith everything will turn out fine and that God is watching over us. I don’t know if I will write to you again before your big debut, but I promise to make at least one more entry after you are born so I can tell you all about the birth experience and how beautiful you are. Ooh as for your looks…I think you will be a tall girl, have a combo of our hair, have my eyes (brows and lashes included), your dad’s cheeks, my nose, your dad’s lip/chin, and my complexion! Let’s see if I’m right! Whatever the case, all I ever wanted was for you to be healthy. Ask God! It’s all I’ve ever prayed for. I love you baby. Wish us love, light, and luck on this journey!! Besitos…

Ok, so I was in labor! I went into labor on 6/15/10 most likely in the morning, but the hard part started at 6pm which was exactly when the 6^th game of the NBA finals started. So, I called my Dr., there was someone on call and they told me that based on my symptoms (which included “bloody show”), I should got to the hospital to get checked out. I told her I would go after the Laker game and she laughed. So, I watched the game, took a shower, curled my hair and your abuelita and tia Elida took me to the hospital. We got there and they checked me, but I was not dilated at all!! Even after the increasing pain. So, they had me walk the hospital for 2 hours and come back to check. I did that and it didn’t make any difference. They told me they could admit me if I wanted but I decided to labor at home until my Dr appt the next morning. I spent the whole night laboring at home and the Elidas squared kept me company and encouraged me through the whole thing. It was rough…I can’t lie. So, the Dr admitted me even though I STILL wasn’t dilated. I went in and was 100% effaced. The Dr basically rubbed my cervix with her finger and I dilated to 2 cm immediately and 3 cm less than an hour after that. They gave me an epidural a couple of hours after I arrived because the pain was pretty bad and I still hadn’t dilated. I hadn’t planned on using it, but the only thing I was sure of was that all birth plans change. So did mine. Anyhow, they administered it and my blood pressure dropped to 35/45 and I couldn’t breathe. I nearly passed out, but after several tries and time spent, they regulated it. Turns out I could have died! After a few hours I was still at 3cm, so I was given the smallest dose of Pitosin they had and it sped up my dilation! The big moment had arrived. I pushed for less than 40 minutes to get you out. That was apparently my strong point! I made sure I did not scream or make any loud noises while I was laboring or delivering you. I just really wanted you to come into this world peacefully. You came out perfect mama. You looked just like a little Eskimo. I asked that you be placed directly on my chest (blood and all) as soon as you came out of the womb. I wanted us to bond immediately. Your Abuelita Elida cut the cord! I asked that they wait for the blood to stop flowing naturally before it was cut (at least 2 minutes) so you could get all the last minute nutrients. We have pictures and video of the whole event. Your papa never made it because I went into labor 6 days earlier than expected. He was on a bus from Scotland to London when you were born. We kept him posted on your tia’s phone.

I delivered at Huntington Memorial Hospital in Pasadena and we had a Labor and Delivery room so it all took place in the same room. The room was quiet, had a Zen (LED) candle garden, Aromatherapy (Vanilla and Lavender) sprayed throughout, beautiful flowers, and Nature sound scapes playing. It was just as I envisioned it. Your Abuelita Elida and Tia Elida were in the room with me for the delivery. Your Abuelito Eduardo and Tio Rick visited with us before and after the actual delivery. Your Tio Eddie came to visit just after the delivery as well.

In the hospital, your abuelita stayed with me until I was released 2 days later with you. I don’t know what I would have done without her.  I asked that you be allowed to sleep in my room and not in the nursery so we could be together at all times. You were a little high risk for Jaundice (because our blood types don’t match. You are A- and I am O+), but the level lowered so you were able to leave with me. I am currently trying to regulate it by feeding you as much as possible. Let me tell you…you can eat! Who knew breastfeeding would take up most of my days. This is only day 4!!

When we got home, your abuelito Eduardo greeted us at the door and “Isn’t she lovely” by Stevie Wonder was playing throughout the house. I kept asking him…is that a CD? It wasn’t! He didn’t know why I was asking that, but I just couldn’t believe it. Every time I heard that song when I was pregnant, I thought of you and cried. Now here it was, the moment I brought you to your home for the first time and that song was playing…just for you. It was just perfectly magical and all I could ask for.

In the end, it was ALL more than worth it…The journey and the moment. Your face melts my heart. I’ve never been in love like this before and I can’t get enough of you. I love you with every tiny cell in my body. You are the world to me and your dad… Xol Victoria Freese.