I have been trying to catch the blog up in the last few days. Posting pics/videos from over the summer. Actually, July to October!! I’ve been laggggging lil mama. Anyhow, I have to stop and post in real time for this one.

You started pre-school today!! It’s a little surreal. I have been experiencing feelings all along the spectrum. I went from sad and introspective to really happy and optimistic all in less than it took to drive to your school and walk back to my car after dropping you off.

We went to about 8 pre-school tours before we decided on this school. It is Chatsworth Hills Academy. It is an independent school; pre-k to 8th grade. Located on 16 acres of Chumash Indian land, it has 8 eco-systems and genuine cave paintings! The pre-school has enrichment classes daily that include music, library, PE, Spanish just to name a few. The classroom has lots of different stations that include a healthy mix of art and academics. There is also a garden (with pumpkins in season now) and small animals in the pre-k yard.

I realized after all those school tours that no one school was going to have everything I wanted, but this one came pretty close. I would have liked a little more of a natural learning practice, but the whole child learning approach that addresses social and emotional components of the pre-k child is a good trade off. I think this is going to be a good fit for us.

This morning as we drove to school we listened to nature sounds and, for once, you didn’t ask me to change it or put a tv show on. It was almost as if we were both taking that moment in to reflect. I thought about the day you were born and all the times I danced you to sleep in your baby carrier and the countless times I breast fed you and the opportunities I took to watch you sleep and the way you started signing and talking so early on and the time we got your ears pierced and all the books I’ve read with you on my lap and the times we raced to the car and the all the times I didn’t quite know how to parent you and the times I lost my temper and the times you lost yours and the times you cried and the times I cried and the times we both struggled to get it right and the times we actually did get it right and songs we’ve sung together and the yoga time together and the prayers we say at night and the funny bath times and the movie days and the every single day of my life since you blessed me with your light. I was present for all of it. Really present and it still passed too quickly.

When we got into the classroom the teacher said I could stay a while as you approached circle time, played a bit with a math manipulative, introduced yourself to the class and came over to tell me I could leave. That took less than 5 minutes. You’ve been consistently excited for school ever since I introduced the idea. You could hardly contain yourself last night before bed just at the thought of it. Then, the moment you stepped out of the truck, a moment of hesitation hit you. You still wanted to experience it, but you took a moment to consider the unknown. I wanted to take pictures, but you just wanted to get going. As we approached the classroom, you got your confidence back. Then when your teacher took you to the front of the class to introduce you, it looked like you might clam up, but you didn’t. You told the teacher she had made a mistake by sitting you on the “S” because your name starts with an “X”.

I love your strength, curiosity, determination, resilience, intelligence, independence and confidence. I’ve made a real effort to instill these things in you. I’m so proud of you and I learn from you every day. This is the beginning of a new phase for both of us. I’m excited to see what we learn about ourselves next. You are the best Xol. I love you!